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C-Store Cult Copypaste

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Not Your Average Farmer

The average farmer in the US is 60 years old—you read that right, so it may come as a surprise to see a new wave of young, and dare I say hot farmers inundating my timeline. It’s not just in the US as far as South America and as close as Canada, these young farmers are leveraging their looks to get their farms on the map. GrantsG…

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“There is an idea of a Snaxboi, but there is no real me, only an entity on an Erewhon run, and though I can hide my cold Recess and you can shake my hand and feel Snacklins dust gripping yours, maybe you can even sense our smoothie picks are comparable —I simply am not there.”

Millennials, we believe in taking care of ourselves as reflected in our purchases. The majority of us fill our baskets with products that promise Instagrammable health, but for the most part, this behavior stems out of seeing food and beverage brands as an extension of ourselves, yes we want better but we want it to signal affluence as well. Less than being a “yuppie” the snaxboi fits more the criteria that Web Smith defined a few years back, HENRY (High Earners, Not Rich Yet) —food after all, is more attainable on a daily basis, but in the same way we would signal walking down the airports in our overpriced carryons, we’ve made olive oil and spices the signalers of pantry shelves.

—Convenience is what 53% of Gen Z and 55% of millennial shoppers want most in a future grocery shopping experience, according to FMI report The Grocery Shopping Habits Of Gen Z And Millennials. 

—Even though our generation’s spending will increase over time, Millennials already spend more per trip than any other generation.

—58% of boomers and mature shoppers name a supermarket as their primary store for groceries, compared to just 43% of gen X and younger shoppers. Gen Xers turn to supercenters more often than any other generation, while younger generations (gen Z, millennials) look to limited assortment stores (such as Trader Joe's, Aldi) and online more often than boomers

—Millennials typically take their time to browse for particular products across brands—more often than settling on a product and purchasing it. Similarly, according to The Balance, Gen Zs prefer stores that make products accessible and easy to test. Grocery shopping becomes less of a rushed, stressful chore and more of a discovery-filled adventure for young shoppers. (WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?!)

Cannot recall growing up with ketchup as something to brag about, but now we crave, at times in a manic manner, the ability to display our fermented Dark Horse organic umami ketchups in our bare pantry shelves —in its 2021 trend report, Pinterest noted that the area of the home that was getting the most makeovers was the kitchen, particularly the pantry shelf as well as cabinets. You know that cringe, cheug, saying “I want my money where I can see it, in my closet?” Well, we want our money where we can see and eat it, inside our pristine looking fridges and pantries. After all, the shelvie is the new selfie.

With this behavior in mind, the modern grocer as well as upcoming food and beverage brands, are shaping themselves to fit the criteria that would satisfy that urge to “signal” —if you’ve ever watched American Psycho, you could easily compare Erewhon to Dorsia and the infamous business card scene could be subbed by a bunch of snaxbois exchanging discoveries found at an overcrowded modern grocer beverage aisle, a sea of sameness, but not in their eyes of course. They can pick out the difference between “hemp” and “CBD” as well as “nootropic” and “caffeine” —but to the foreign eye, it would look and feel like, sheer insanity.

90s Cartoons Were Fucking Gross

In “Horny, Horny People” I laid the foundations for my theory as to where this behavior stems from in Millennials, relating to snacks being the original signaler for us, because it was the first parlay into “perceived value” as in, you knew that Dunkaroos and Lunchables were top tier trade, as opposed to your Mom’s PB&J, (no offense to anyone’s mom, but playgrounds in the 90s were brutal.) To better understand this, we have to go back in time, to where the majority of us grew up, (sorry geriatrics, I am NOT including you in this so kindly fuck off) —the 90s. If you’re like me, you probably filled your spare time as a kid devouring Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, etc. Remember “One Saturday Morning?”—regardless of what your channel of preference was, we can all agree that the cartoons we grew up with were garbage, and I mean LITERAL garbage. I present, for your consideration, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, it literally took place under a city dump and one of the main characters was a furry orange monster who carried its eyeballs in their hands and had an abnormal arm pit stench, the main female monster scared people by reaching inside her body and pulling her organs inside out, yooo this is the shit we grew up with, if you’ve suppressed this memory, perhaps this is a good place to stop reading.

Were 90s cartoons just a permeation of grunge? Grunge was an alternate movement, a pushback that rose out of the yuppie era, and it can be reflected in our childhood television. I mean, who could forget the show Creepy Crawlers that was filled with green slime (and can we just talk about our obsession with this? SLIME TIME LIVE!) and a literal commando of grotesque, mutant, insects. Like sewage was a main theme in several cartoons not to mention even just the eerie and scary disproportions of 90s cartoons, take Ren and Stimpy for example, not only was Ren’s angry face top most disturbing thing I’ve seen as a kid, but there’s so many bizarre scenes that to this day, can’t believed grazed our screens.

Sorry but what the actual fuck?

Before digressing too much, let’s bring this back to the original theme of, why are we so obsessed with aesthetically pleasing things in the first place? Was the blanding of brands that we experienced in the 2010s just a refraction as we entered adulthood were we bended what we grew up with into something that was more soothing to our gazes, as a counter to the horrid visions of younger days? Is this the reason why we are so obsessed with that sleek, matte apothecary bottle look that has permeated from everything to olive oil, aperitifs and alcohol? The same reason I think JNCOS and bedazzled Ed Hardy hats have led today’s fashionistas to opt for Aimé Leon Dore that screams yuppie athleisure.

I am here to theorize, that this is the case. Pleasurable pastels were a way to undo the goo from our past, but fuck, who can blame us?

Crossing the Better For You Chasm

When did we start to see this suppressed trauma yield fruit? As soon as Millennials came of age, what I call the Better-For-You Chasm it’s when our pull as a generation got stronger, you saw the rise of the “better brands” that saw an unfulfilled niche, who is catering to the needs of the snaxboi? Think of what Sir Kensington was able to do, become such a threat to the BigFood establishment that Unilever had to buy it because it couldn’t compete, all on the premise of better ketchup, Halo Top has a similar story. By the mid 2010s, we saw something that hadn’t happen in decades, water sales outpacing soda that sparked the seltzer wars, beer and wine losing market share to… hard seltzer? (In 2019, the sale of bottles of wine declined for the first time in 25 years!)

By 2020, we have crossed the better for you chasm and Snaxbois have become apex consumer. The same way Dorsia is the hot spot in American Psycho, so has Erewhon become the watering hole for the snaxboi persona, consider this piece in New York Times detailing this very behavior. Trickled down to mainstream, we see these concepts popping up in every major city, as well as 2-tier cities, all catering to the American snaxboi. The LA Mag recently spoke on the “rise of neighborhood grocer” the truth is this is what millennials want, groceries with a side of aesthetics. If I can’t post a photo of my pristine metallic basket that serves as a perfect backdrop to Recess cans, Boon sauce and Hot Sloth—bruh, I don’t want it.

BigMoney knows this too, to cater to the ever hungry snaxboi, we see the likes of Foxtrot Market raise large amounts of capital to expand their store print, with a coming soon-to a city-near you, type of scale. See, we are done with the “better for you” options, we are now into perpetual discovery phase, entering these stores that are built with the snaxboi in mind, versus crowded with irrelevant brands just because they can afford more slots (sorry BigFood) —it’s like pressing a button that says, “fuck me up fam” an endless Eden that offers pleasantries in the form of refreshing Ruby, Aurora Elixirs, dreamy Dram cans, indulgent ice creams that are non-dairy, mushroom jerky and more. Enter the rise of “functional unwinding” "rise of sober curious" “shroom boom” “CBD x CPG” “brave new alt-world” etc, we are now in an explorative phase that is going to define what the modern pantry looks like, possibly without the existence of any legacy brands in tow.

Millennials are breeding, we are literally morphing Gen Alpha into mini-mes, as seen around these trendy grocers, these tiny beings surrounding themselves with these beautiful products, and who knows, maybe they too will grow to reject them, and the cycle continues.

Beware Snax Paradox

It’s also necessary to mention, that snaxbois are top tier, and if 2020 taught us anything, is that when the shit hits the roof, we resort back to what is familiar to us. That is why BigFood, despite being our nemesis, became our biggest snackpiece— after ghosting them for years….“You up?” we asked. This is why I have been preaching for a year now, the need for curation, the utility-first mindset, what the fuck is this product actually a replacement of? If not, the average consumer will retreat to what its familiar with, the snax paradox details this behavior, people can be turned off by “adaptogenic cookie dough” —why would it necessitate that?

As someone who is consumer centric, and keeps finger on pulse of a more mainstream audience, as oppossed to an Erewhon shelf, I’ve had many conversations on the vagueness and buzzword-filled frenzy that is seen online, in shelfs, etc. Did you see Dole launched “functional” beverages, when does the madness end? Similar to American Psycho, when he literally sees signs on the ATM that say “feed me a stray cat” —that’s exactly what the current situation feels like. Take for example this brand that is asking you to “hydrate your coffee” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Also isn’t the purpose of these products to be more of a complement, and not like more fucking work on our end? Or like powdered kombucha, why the fuck was this necessary, I can just, you know buy it when I want it? The idea of carrying around powdered kombucha sticks stresses me out.

Let’s be real, if you want to capture mass audiences, you have to meet people in the middle, like the secondary characters surrounding Patrick Bateman, you can’t trust the perception of the American snaxboi, you gotta do a double take, ground yourself in reality a lot more.

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This essay explores the corruption of the modern day grocer that has fueled the boom of GLP-1s as the only remedy to products that serve no purpose but to increase shareholder value instead of nurturing the actual consumer. It’s part of a series of essays and thoughts around modern day grocery stores and serves as an introduction to an upcoming bigger p…

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This essay explores how design influenced grocery, from aisles to packaging, for better and worse. It’s part of a series of essays and thoughts around modern day grocery stores and serves as an introduction to an upcoming bigger project.

Nothing brought me as much joy as biting into fresh fruit deep in the valley, in the home I grew up in surrounded by greenery equal parts heat and humidity—the beauty of Honduras juxtaposed by the political instability, corruption and high crime rates, afterall, there is no paradise without hell. Luckily for me, the PTSD parts while growing up are eclipsed by the memories of love and nurturing, instilled mostly by my maternal grandmother, from who I inherited my unfilteredness as well as a connection to what nourishes.

Every Saturday she would return from La Concha, one of the oldest bustling markets in my hometown, carrying the most colorful and lively (quite literally) bounties of fruits, veggies, legumes, dairy and on ocassions, water buckets filled with crabs. It was a sensorial experience more than a tedious one, to help her clean the white maize and the beans before she readied them for the mill (one which no longer exists) —there were also times of disgust whenever she washed the tripe for her mondongo soup or when she asked me to peel the tamarind to make fresh juice, the sticky crunch is something you can never unfeel. I would watch her make her cheese donuts to make her famous Nicaraguan cheese soup, she taught me how to wash and prepare rice, adopting me at times as her sous-chef. On ocassion, she would reward me with stuffed mini 8-ball zuchinis, a recipe she learned from the Arab family she rented from when she fled the Nicaraguan civil war and moved to Honduras.

I did not realize it then—but it was such a privilege to grow up so close to the food that nourishes you, and as I grew older, I would often accompany my mom to the farmer’s market on Sundays and would get lost in the maze of vegetable and fruit stands that all led to the sauna-esque stalls of the tortilla makers, girls that were either younger or around my age, making stacks of corn and flour tortillas so fast, you could blink and find a new stack made, wrapped in a plastic bag and sold just as quick. The sights of papayas displayed on newspapers, the scrublike dirt left on potatoes and carrots as you browse, the noise of the crowd reverbating in the cement stalls oozing with steam from the heat—at times it feels like a distant dream.

The misting machines at the produce section at Whole Foods often bring that to mind for me—as someone who grew up in Honduras and now lives in the US, it’s kind of a tale of two grocers. Though it’s my job to report and observe the cultural convergences we are seeing in the industry—it’s hard not to feel pessismistic at a time where fresh food in one of the richest countries in the world, is unaccessible to many and the idea of groceries as luxury considering food and beverage are the cornerstone of the human experience.

The New Grocer

Cartwheels shriek as the doors slide open at your modern grocery store, unveiling a vast sea of sameness, reflecting an illusion of choice, as if playing pretend as a kid all over again–rituals so far corrupted from the actual origins of grocery shopping, it has become almost aspirational. In the beginning, we shopped for pantry staples at general stores with limited offerings, surrendering our household necessities to the store clerk that would choose for us, there were no brands, there were only needs to be met. For a while, stores had been designed around this gatekept experience, but as industrialization roared on and war loomed, the need to make the grocery experience more efficient and convenient grew, cardboard boxes and tin made keeping food fresh more accessible, by the mid 1910s, the first self-service store came to be, Piggly Wiggly, others would soon follow. 

Removing the middleman, this new design around browsing open shelves was adopted across the globe, this spread out layout somehow fostered the empowering idea of choice–more space meant more options to choose from, and as consumers navigated these new seas, consumer packaged goods became disguised siren calls. In today’s world, the customer itself has become the product, grocery stores salivating at the thought of luring us in to be once again enticed by their influx of shiny objects, what was once a form of temple wherein one performed a simple tribute, an exchange of offerings to suffice a need, has now become a battling ground for retailer, brand and consumer. 

Our parents found themselves presented with the choice of brand vs. off-brand, in the end the process of elimination came down to utility, but in this era of Millennials and GenZ, groceries have evolved to be a form of external signaling—my olive oil most not only perform its inherit duty, but it most also communicate identity, lifestyle, status or desire. Something prophesied by artist Andy Warhol back in the 1960s, his Campbell soup elevated mundane everyday items to a form of art, from soup to Coca-Cola bottles, his pieces also serving to represent a brewing era of mass consumption. Big box stores replaced humble general stores, think Walmart and their gargantuan footprint, and Kroger now considered the largest grocery chain with over 5,000 stores across the US, now operating like real estate brokers selling off their best shelf spaces to the highest bidders. Slotting fees as they are commonly known within the industry, is what drives grocers interests, it’s no longer to provide for needs but instead foster over consumption. 

Technology has also influenced the modern grocery industry–from Amazon to Instacart, your groceries are at the tip of your fingers, that is if you’re willing to pay extra. Scrolling has become the new browsing–but don’t let the flat design of these new product shelves fool you–these platforms too operate in a form of shelving system, by favoring sponsored placements. This inescapable dullness around what was once a more experiential custom has allowed for us to be marketed this inherent experience, wrapped in aspirational branding, and resold at a premium–inspired by the allure of traditional outdoor markets of yore. Brands like Flamingo Estate operate under the slogan “mother nature is the last greatest luxury house” –groceries that for the majority of population are already an unaffordable necessity, now marketed as a form of status signaling.

Erewhon, what I like to dub as “hypebeast grocer” –has become an aspirational lifestyle brand itself–not only selling the illusion of quality products under a pseudo wellness halo, but also by collaborating with luxury brands like BALENCIAGA, it’s price inaccessibility making it more coveted for brands and consumers alike, and they profit massively from this positioning. This idea of aspirational groceries has even led affordable chains like Trader Joe’s, Target and Walmart to invest in rebranding their private label, trying to make it as aesthetically pleasing as what one might find at more expensive chains–indulging the new generations in their wish of pretty packaging. 

On the other extreme of the spectrum we find eco-friendly grocery stores like re: Grocery that discourage packaging in lieu of BYOC (bring your own containers) releasing consumers from the paradox of choice and claws of marketers– while online grocers like Sunrise focus on guiding you to make better choices by helping (some may think of shaming) one to visualize the carbon footprint that accompanies their grocery lists when ordering within their app. Does removing packaging itself bring us closer to traditional forms of grocery, or does it help us pave a way forward by ridding us of what are seemingly distractions to bigger issues like consolidated food systems? 

Even specialty grocers have been rebranded as “curated” –intentionally selected to be a juxtaposition of BigBox retail–a focus on emerging brands and being less predatory around shelf placements in hopes to bring visibility to brands that need it more than BigFood. Pop Up Grocer, though from the outside looking in, can seem to your average consumer, as an overpriced shop with beautifully packaged goods, yet it actually focuses on curating and highlighting women founders as well as POC founders, as opposed to operating with a real estate type mentality. Similarly stores like The Goods Mart and Tiny Grocer have piloted these concepts for the smaller convenience store, having been able to find success and replicate their formats across New York City and Austin–though there are others that have yet been able to find the balance between challenging and embracing the ruling grocery store formats, see the recent demise of Foxtrot Market.

What does the new grocery store look like at a time of late-stage capitalism? Designs that help give direction and serve less manipulation–instead of Trojan horsing with aesthetics–can better merchandising help consumers become more informed about their consumption through novel store design formats like Pop Up Grocer or release them from marketing machinations through zero waste models like Re: Grocery? The modern grocery store should foster our inherent connection with what nurtures us–a cornerstone in every person’s life, it should not have to be aspirational, see farmer’s markets across the world, where buying from your local merchants helps tie what we consume with where it’s produced.

In an era where every aspect of our lives can serve as social signaling, eased by the rise of platforms like Instagram and TikTok, the responsibility around design should not fall back just on new shop or brand owners, but instead pulling back the thread of what allowed the disconnection to begin with, the new grocer can only rise from the ashes of outdated and archaic systems that continue to manipulate us– if we can create stickers that change color as produce ripens to prevent consumers from letting it go to waste, to bringing about the paper bottle revolution now adopted by BigBeverage, then the role of design should continuously be one to remind us that other paths are possible, flickering lights that offer hope in darkness.

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“When you have a product this good, it doesn’t matter what it’s called.”

Tom Brady has launched an…

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Happy Friday,

I’ve been traveling around to get you inside looks into the latest in F&B from the most exclusive openings, from Miami see my Nude sneak peek, to Vegas for Sweets and Snacks expo where I go to preview the new line ups from brands like Rotten and new brand launches like Snackish.

A few things of note before the long weekend hits—

Oasis is Go…

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You can find so much content produced at the intersection of fear mongering and misinformation when it comes to food and beverage, particularly in the US, where the majority of the population isn’t born with a connection to what feeds them, but whatever BigBox grocer has in store for them. Now more than ever, accounts like Hydroxide are necessary to break through the noise and bullshit that many “green screen detectives” cook up, with the lens of an actual food scientist.

We discuss her background and starting her account, David protein, raw milk and other controversial food products.

Enjoy!

Hot Fries, Frozen Aisles

Jesse & Ben’s announced a $10M Series A led by Greycroft, alongside others like Midnight Ventures and Willow Growth Partners, and individuals like Nicolas Jammet (Sweetgreen) and …

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Founder of Simulate (Nuggs) was arrested on assault and strangulation charges.

Do you still get Simulate in your grocery store? Post acquisition, the brand seemed to have fallen off, their website is non-existent and I’ve tried to source them at different grocers to …

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Hi everyone,
I’ll be chatting at HBS and Wharton this week and I’m currently writing from the back of an Uber on my way to my hotel in Boston, catch me in Philly later this week, if you’re in town, HMU!

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At one point I had to turn off RSVPs from our partiful because we had a 400+ waitlist on a party that already had 400 RSVPs, mind you this isn’t a convention or conference of sorts…it’s kind of the opposite of that. ’s Cami …

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So many people reached out to me post EXPO asking for my thoughts, and for that you’d had to go back to a post I made a few years ago, titled “What’s in a trend?.” After half a decade of expos, working with the biggest food companies in the world and supporting each new wave of CPG founders, I’ve learned that I’d be doing you a disservice if I were to d…

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Kim Kardashian joins her Jenner sisters in owning a beverage brand as she announces she’s become co-founder of Update, originally founded by Daniel Solomons, a former investmet banker based in NYC alongside the Hess Family (that one). This story should come to no surprise if you’ve watched the last seasons of Kardashians on Hulu, Kim hasn’t been able to…

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At a time where we complain about slopbowls while we propagate messages like “fiber is the new protein” that have Babybel promoting probiotic protein cheeses and Pepsi unveiling their 10g of protein Doritos to be consumed only by the proteingooners that are delusional enough to pass it as gains, one is left wondering what more can be done in favor of em…

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Half a decade ago—which is an insane couple of words to start this off with, I deep dived into CPG’s fascination with gut health—think of kombucha, the whole probiotic craze, and what started out as supplements offering gut improvements see Supergut and Seed, eventually morphed into prebiotic sodas, see Olipop and Poppi, what I dubbed as Millennial Metamucil.

Like protein, the presence of fiber in CPG items is not new, the narrative around it just keeps changing depending on the generational shift—people have been clamoring “fiber is the new protein for a while. And just like protein, fiber has gone through different eras, the 80s and 90s saw FiberOne and Metamucil with the 2000s being all about probiotics, Activia was inescapable. Health Ade was founded in 2012, as kombucha became the new it probiotic which eventually stalled thanks to the demonization of sugar, and thus prebiotics became the new fibre of choice. Supergut debuted around the same time as Olipop gained momemtum, happy guts became synonymous of health.

Do you think that Ozempic was the first time food makers thought fiber was a hack to aid in losing weight? 2009 saw a similar craze as more brands started adding “high in fiber” to appeal to health conscious consumers looking to lose weight while Atkins and South Beach Diet claimed to do the same with protein. Millennials may never forget the Benefiber ads that featured statuesque models with flat abs and GenX may be permanently scarred with Jaime Lee Curtis’ Activia ads, the modern version equivalent being Supergut rebranding as “Nature’s Ozempic”.

If this isn’t clicking yet, let me breakdown exactly why fiber isn’t the new protein, it’s been just a popular all along. If you walk into a grocery store right now you can easily find a few hundred fiber forward products—a simple search on Target puts you in the hundreds, Kroger features around 400 and Walmart has over a thousand products with fiber—safe to be said, in 2026 it doesn’t need as much PR as you would think. From probiotic salsa, to prebiotic pasta, there’s even fiber candy and the list goes on: prebiotic sauces, prebiotic ice cream and gelatos—they are even putting probitoics in athleisure, I’m not fucking joking.

In our piece, It’s Giving GenZ Groceries, we heralded the new wave of CPG brands being led by GenZ founders from Hot Girl Pickles to agua frescas and Sauz—their influence is becoming more palpable? Don’t believe me? Sauz has gone on to raise over $20M to scale their GenZ forward sauces, from Summer Lemon (feelings that evoke aesthetic are the new flavors) to Hot Honey Marinara and Whiney Baby, a GenZ friendly wine brand, sold to Gallo last year and their founder now works in their consumer innovation arm. While Olipop and Poppi were extremely Millennial coded waves of fiber, the instant gratification of health benefits meets pastels and adorkable fonts, their success hinged on the opportunity to take market share from dominant soda companies, where there’s been a lot of money to be gained, Pepsi ultimately bought Poppi for around $2B and launched their own prebiotic line (yeah, this is hell).

We’re now seeing GenZ’s version of it—a combination of fermentation and fartmaxxing, just look at the explosion of pickles and kimchi, combined with an elevation of what has been kind of a bland space, the luxe-fication of legumes, whether it’s beans or lentils, see Heyday and Lentiful. The problems around fiber have always been around taste (see Benefiber’s tasteless callouts in their 2000s ads) or incovenient formats, do you really want to be fully cooking those cauliflowers, legumes, etc, how long does it take to make your own damn kimchi?! This time around we’re seeing an emphasis on brands making it readily accesible for those who want to increase their intake, because no matter how many inverted food pyramids they yassify, fiber is essential at every stage of humans as we grow. It has also become an increasingly important conversation with new generations as gut health issues spike, see our Gut-tastic deep dive!

Why this clarification matters—

If you can’t stand seeing the protein-fication of everything from Poptarts to Lunchables, merely disguising themselves as “healthier options”, you may want to reevaluate what articles you share and what narrative you want to keep propagating. BigFood and even emerging brands will follow the money, considering how cut throat the grocery industry is with razor thin margins, anything to find a way to fatten those up (oh the irony!) —people kept asking me whether or not I agreed with this statement that’s being propagated everywhere and thus felt compelled to share my thoughts on it. For God sake we’re literally saying 2026 is the year of the cabbage like we’re announcing the latest Pantone color scam.

We keep seeing the media hype these narratives: eat more fucking cabbage it’s good for you and we have inverted pyramids that demand you up your intake of meat, dairy and eggs—when the more important conversations should be around whether or not the majority of people in the US have the access to quality produce in the first place. When we complain about why it’s easier to afford sugary drinks and shitty chips, we should also think about what roles we play as consumers, investors, buyers, retailers and founders in enabling this.

Though I’m afraid this reflection may already be too late—I’ve already been made aware of BigFood superbowl ads boasting fiber, it’s about to get so fucking insufferable here, just know if fiber Poptarts make it out of the lab, we are all to blame for this shit, literally.

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